The Man Cave

Man’s Fortress of Solitude

                                                                                                 

During the second half of the last millennium the man of the house, after a long day at work wanted a place for the evening to rest and relax.  Hence came the development and introduction of what at the time was called the Den.

 The principles for the space were simple, a room where he could invite other male friends to share in enjoying “man” activities such as, watching football, sharing in a stimulating game of chess, watching baseball, discussing environmental issues, watching basketball, sharing concerns regarding the present day social-economical situations, watching baseball, or enjoying a game of cards, otherwise known as “Poker Night”.

 The men always found it relaxing in the Den if nothing else but to sit in front of the TV, surfing the channels for whatever sport event was available or giving up and discussing the sports statistics of their favorite players. It was a place where dad and his friends could hide while their woman carried on their own stimulating discussions regarding neighborhood activities, unofficial PTA meeting, the ever changing clothing trends, ideas on new pot roast recipes, and of course, the always important opinions regarding their observations of the latest ongoing dramatic, life changing activities of the 10a.m. fictional theatrical television series or commonly known as the soaps.

  In most cases the Den was off limits unless father offered the rare privilege of sharing his room for an hour or so.  The basic understanding was that this room was accessible to the man of the house and other visiting men over the age of 21.  The only exceptions would be any younger Active Duty Soldier who was home on leave or the first time a young man made the mistake of ringing the front door bell to pick up fathers “little girl” for a first date. The poor soul was escorted by mom who knocked first then allowed the young man to enter the Den where for next 15 minutes the father interrogated the victim on their past, their future goals in life and their intentions regarding the first date with his daughter.  

Over the next two generations this purpose for this room somehow started through an evolutionary change.  With the new wave of electronics that burst forward in the 70’s and 80’s the den turned into where the family arcade could be found. There were Video games, Large Screen Projector Televisions, VCR’s, DVR’s and CD Players which the man gradually was pressured into sharing with the rest of the family. At first it was only on Friday nights for Family Night, then Saturday Nites for Mom and Dad time. Until finally the inevitable happened and the door was either taken off completely or the entrance was modified thus the coming of the “Family Room”.  Without knowing it, the man had lost his Fortress of Solitude. 

For those rebels who had to have a “room” for them they found a new way of saving their manhood by slowly transforming their garages into their hiding place.  It usually started with the excuse that the place “just needed cleaning up.”  Then came the re-arranging of the tools and building of the workbench which soon provided the need for a Television, Refrigerator and a second hand microwave.  It was obvious that the family vehicle no longer had a place within the confines of what use to be the garage. Then, down went a coat of concrete paint and some sports memorabilia hanging from the roof and neon beer signs on the walls. Again, Mr. Macho had his place.

The father had his own little castle and quickly the old Den rules were again put into in play.  When those garage doors went down the dropping of the Kings Drawbridge signaled the return of his privacy and all was well.  That is until, the third child arrived and now suddenly the 14 year old son needed a “place of his own” and with the garage doors replaced by solid walls and a wall air conditioning unit, the teenage boy had his Bachelor’s Pad and Dad again lost his home away from home. 

For the next few years the man of the house bided his time waiting for a chance to reclaim his hide away.  Somehow though, when the oldest child moved away with dad gladly helping him to move out, the next son slipped in and enjoys the “bachelor pad” all the way through his remaining years of high school and his 4 years of college.

Finally with the coming of the empty nest and the start of the new millennium the man has finally had the opportunity to reclaim his Man Cave.  But wait a minute, now things are different, now the items that seemed so important to him in the den of 30 years ago no longer carry as much importance.  Now, the new Man Cave is more a Museum of Past Adventures, Memorable Experiences, Unusual Collections and of course his “Own” Super Doper Maximums Home Computer.  The little box that is the world’s answer for enjoying the entire world and universe without ever having to leave your highly expensive, “don’t you even think of sitting in my” Real Corinthian leather chair.

The Man Cave, of the 2000’s, The Baby Boomer Males attempt to still have a place where he can step into and mentally spring forward into the future trying to figure out where and what he may be in the next 30 years or step back and be allowed to relive some of the many life experiences he has collected over his lifetime.  Or to be able to sit and just enjoy the present and enjoy what he has accomplished and attained regarding MAN things.

 Keep in mind that this luxury does not come cheap. Usually a compromise must be agreed upon. You don’t mess with me and my Man Cave and I will go to Bingo with you once a week,  or setting her up a Sewing/Scrap booking Room or participating in Garage Sale shopping on Saturday mornings. But that’s OK because you can return to your MAN CAVE each Saturday afternoon and know you have a place to hide when the now grown kids and grandkids show up unexpectedly.  Now after a few minutes of listening to what little Johnny or Mary did in school that week you can say “Hey Son, let show you something” and you both have an easy out to head to the MAN CAVE.  Once there, you watch proudly, sitting in your Corinthian Leather Chair as he walks around your room admiring your MAN treasures, knowing that in his mind he is saying “One of These Days, I’m going to have a MAN Cave just like this”.