Brass Tacks...

I Don't Know...

3 words that each have their own definition but when put together, can be so hard to accept, explain or make things or situations hard to understand.

This phrase has been pinging around against the inner walls of my head lately a lot.  They are kind of like that computer screen saver that slowly starts in one corner then works it's way up, down or over to the opposite side only to bounce off and head back the other way.  Never back to the exact same spot, just off to the side so that it bounces around coming into contact with all sides.

I've let these words do this most of my life, sometimes I think I used them as an excuse to avoid having to address some things I didn't want to address.  You know just put it up high on a shelf so you don't have to think about it. But now, with extra time on my hands I'm able to sit and reflect on what has gone in my life these  and three words have started to make me wish I did know and understand why some things have happened.

So... Even though I may not like the answers I'm going to think about them and try to figure out why some things are the way they are and try to accept it or decide to figure out what I can do about it.

So here we go, taking it down to the Brass Tacks.

Most of my life I have tried to make sure I have treated others the way I would want to be treated. Close to a majority of that time has been with Sylvia as a couple,  But for right now, in this writing,  I am speaking for myself so blame her not for anything that what I am about to say.

I think we have shared or given much to others without expecting much in return, maybe just a little acknowledgement that we were there when needed. Oh, I know that some of my actions were hard to accept by others but they were actions that in the place and time, I felt had to be done. They,  many times hurt me just as much if not more then the one's it was placed upon or the recipient of. Many times mine were reactions not initiations based on what others had done.  I just wish that they would remember and accept that.

I come from a family that at one time were very close, that reached out to each other, that wanted to know that everything was OK.  To me and it maybe it's only me,  feel that is not the norm anymore.  If it is something I have done. If something I have done is embarrassing to them, I am sorry you are. I promise you it was not intentional.

 I know that my physical distance for a large part of my life has been a factor in helping to keep the relationships strong but again they were not done intentionally, not done to runaway or to pull away.  My moves have each been done for a reason that at the time was for the best of my immediate family.

I don't understand why there seems to be a barrier between some that I am related to,  I thought that I had pretty well done right by everyone but it seems sometimes that those that I would love to enjoy and be part of their lives, I am only recognized when it is something that I said or did that they did not like or agree with. But please understand this I am part of this family and I will always be part of this family and I am proud of being part of this family  and that will never change, because I proud of being a member of the Glass Family.   But anyway, if that is the way it is, then that is something that I am going to have to learn to deal with even though it hurts very much.

Once, I was told during a conversation about occupations and skills that allows attaining new occupations I was asked "Well, why would you ever be told you were "over qualified for that, what have you ever done." That gave me the impression that maybe I was not perceived as a person of much value, worth, or have the abilities to hold positions that hold high expectations. I know that is not true because I have held them and I did them and did them well.  But still, just the comment being made, it makes me wonder if  that the way I am perceived by others.  If that is true, then to those people, you don't know me or you are not willing to accept my accomplishments for whatever reason.  But I will tell you this... I am proud of what I have done and the positions I have held.  I have held jobs from the being the boss to being the lowest man on the ladder.  But no matter what the job was, I can say I did the best at whatever I was doing. So take me for what I am and what I have done because I know I have done better and more then some. Am I proud of what I have done?  Damn Straight... So live with it.

So... for now.. I'll step down off my soapbox. Stepped on some toes? Oh well.  But the Doc says that sometimes you just got to get it off your chest.  So I did.  But also know I'm not embarrassed for what I say because it is the way I feel.  Trust me, there will probably be more later.

Johnny
Onward Thru The Fog.













 

Do You Think He Knew

12/23/2016

I woke this morning at 4 a.m. with this question in my head.  So odd, because I already knew the answer... So I sat down and wrote this prose.  I hope that Peace and Joy finds you this Christmas and that the True Meaning of Christmas is felt in your heart.   

Please.... Have a Very Merry Christmas... 

Do you think that he knew?
This one that took him there.
Was he also given a mission,
Had the message been whispered in his ear?

Did he know this package he bore,
before too long would change the world?
Did he know that he carried the answer,
That so many had been waiting for?
I sometimes wonder,
Do you think he knew?

Did it make him want to walk with extra care,
Those steps he took along the way?
When to stop and take a rest
Because he knew who he carried,
Would mean so much to so many, even to this day.

Did he know the way?
Had he been told which paths to take,
which were the safest ways to go?
So that the coming would be a little easier
For the precious gift he carried, for us to know.

Do you think he knew he carried our Savior, Our Redeemer,
Did he understand that what he carried,
was the 1st True Miracle, for all the world to see,
Did he know that what he was about to share,
was the one and only answer that will save you and me.

As for me, yes, I think he knew
that he carried God’s Son.
Back then, when it was hard to know who to trust.
Yes, I truly believe he knew
he was part of bringing our salvation to us.

Yes, he shared with Mary and Joseph the Secret
That what he carried was meant to be.
God had been given him that task
And he did it freely, for you and me.

So when I see one standing in a field,
I realize now, why they are usually not
asked to carry a burden anymore.
Because now I understand
That a very special one of them, way back then,
just like Jesus did for me and you,
He did….. all that he was asked to do.

Peace Be With You..
Johnny

Do you think that he knew?

This one that took him there.
Was he also given a mission,
Had the message been whispered in his ear?

Did he know this package he bore,
before too long would change the world?
Did he know that he carried the answer,
That so many had been waiting for?
I sometimes wonder,
Do you think he knew?

Did it make him want to walk with extra care,
Those steps he took along the way?
When to stop and take a rest
Because he knew who he carried,
Would mean so much to so many, even to this day.

Did he know the way?
Had he been told which paths to take,
which were the safest ways to go?
So that the coming would be a little easier
For the precious gift he carried, for us to know.

Do you think he knew he carried our Savior, Our Redeemer,
Did he understand that what he carried,
was the 1st True Miracle, for all the world to see,
Did he know that what he was about to share,
was the one and only answer that will save you and me.

As for me, yes, I think he knew
that he carried God’s Son.
Back then, when it was hard to know who to trust.
Yes, I truly believe he knew
he was part of bringing our salvation to us.

Yes, he shared with Mary and Joseph the Secret
That what he carried was meant to be.
God had been given him that task
And he did it freely, for you and me.

So when I see one standing in a field,
I realize now, why they are usually not
asked to carry a burden anymore.
Because now I understand
That a very special one of them,
way back then, just like Jesus did for us,
He did….. all that he was asked to do.

Peace Be With You..
Johnny

They Are Still With Me

Remember....


Sometimes, I sit on my porch with a cup of coffee and enjoy the evening's arrival.

If you were to drive by, you would think that I'm sitting alone, all by myself.

That couldn't be the farthest thing from true.

As I think back, they come and join me,

My Parents, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, Cousins and other Kinfolks. who have gone on ahead.

We sit and talk, each with their own story, always ending with a laugh or at least a smile.

And someone saying "Yea, I remember that."

We remind each other of those things that was and should still be important in each of our lives.

Family, Integrity, Honor, Friendship, Loving, Caring and Giving.

We talk about the way it was, the way it is and the way we hope it will be.

I sit and listen to each of them and I smile.

I smile because I understand just how lucky I am

To be a part of such an amazing family.

Then, as the sun sets and the night takes over,

Then they stand and walk out into the darkness each turning and reminding me to "Remember".

And I smile again, thanking them and I give my promise to each and everyone of them,

That yes, I will remember, that I will never forget.

Merry Christmas Everyone, to those who are both here... and there...

Johnny
December 2016

Country Boy Bottle Rocket Wars

When you come from a family the size of my family you can expect to see just about anything when we got together.  My Father had 2 Brothers and 3 Sisters.  When the hormones had set in and they were all married off, they produced a batch of rascals which consisted of 27 Grandchildren for my Grandparents. 21 Boys and 5 girls (if I remember right, don't hold me to the figures, I'm old...)

Now the only thing that saved the world was that God had placed my Grandparents on a ranch far away from the hustle and bustle of what then was a pretty mellow town by the name of Austin, Texas. This was a good thing, because when you got the S,F, Glass Family together, there was no doubt a little bit of noise to be raised.

This happened usually twice a year. Once on the Sunday following the 4th of July which was the Glass Family Annual Reunion and on Christmas Eve at my Grandparents house which just by coincidence was directly across from our house.

There were many family rituals that occurred during that evening, a lot of eating, a lot of laughing, a lot of "do you remember when's",  There was the gathering of the entire family in one room for the Story from the Bible about the Birth of Jesus, a few songs, and the passing out of gifts.

And then, there was the Bottle Rocket War...

The rules were simple... All cousins from about the age of 12 were split into 2 groups.  The battle ground, was the street between the 2 houses.  Each of their front yard fences were the edge of the DMZ.

The object... to try and make as many cousins as possible on the other side duck, dodge, drop to the ground or if nothing else turn their backs on the incoming bottle rocket that had been zero'ed in on you.   Ammo was usually quantified by no more then a Gross (12 Dozen) bottlerockets per participant.

L.L.A. (legal launching apparatus) was anything you could come up with that would help to assist the rocket to find a straight and true path across the street and into the crowd of cousins on the other side. These homemade mortars consisted of,  but were not limited to,  the tubes from golf bags, copper pipes, old BB guns or popguns with the insides ripped out and one of my favorite, a old double barreled no longer usable 12 gauge shot gun.  Or... if you really got good at it to hold the bottle rocket in hand, light it and hurl it high in the air so that when the fuse hit the black powder inside the projectile would have reached it's highest altitude and was pointing towards the ground, hopefully towards the "other" yard.... Very effective, IF at that point in time,  it was pointed toward THE OTHER YARD. Needless to say.... not always the case...

All of these contraptions had been invented during the week before said competition in the garages, tool sheds or barns by each participant.  Some were hold-outs from previous wars, others were "new and improved" assault gear.

Other weapons consisted of  dried "buffalo goards" with a Black Cat Firecracker pushed down in it or a smoke bomb, which was lit and hurled (with very little effect) but was good for making the opposing team run away from it screaming as if it was about to blow up at their feet, which it usually didn't do.  The other option was to just throw the smoke bombs, which when hurled into the opposing team made it hard to find the fuse on your bottle rocket to light or to cause them to run into each other in the low hanging cloud of smoke that settle over each front yard.

What determined the "Winners"?  Well claims and bragging were always made by both sides but actually, everyone one was a winner as long as "someone" didn't get hurt which every one of our Mothers had said was going to happen just before the starting of the game,  as if that was going stop the war from happening, yea right.    It was simple, the fight continued until all the rockets were gone.

Then, it was time for the High Altitude Fancy Rockets, Roman Candles, whistlers, spark spewing mini tanks, poppers and Sparklers for the smaller kids which ended with at least one or two burning the ends of their fingers by trying to hold it to long or picking up a spent sparkler which was still hot.  "Dang, those stung".

When all was said and done and everything which held gunpowder inside it were gone we all slowly headed back into the house for dessert and then the dreaded hugging and kissing of the Aunts and saying Goodbyes until.... next year....

Ah.... for the good ole days....

Merry Christmas Everyone.

Johnny

A Christmas Wish

From Our Family to Yours....

Do you still have a place in your heart for me?

I really hope and want there so much to be.

They say that many have pushed me out.

That for some, there is no reason for me to come South.

I can remember when you were so little and small.

You had no doubts, to you then, I was Ten feet Tall.

I meant that there was good in the world for all the world to see.

Which meant that there was a reason for there being a me.

So. I ask you again? Do you still have a place in your heart for me?

I really hope and want there so much to be.

Because, It is the season for happiness and joy

For each and every Girl and Boy.

I am so hoping that I will see you soon

But until then I have much to do.

Let me know that I am still needed,

By opening your heart and leaving some room for me.

Happy Holidays...

Santa and His Elves John, Sylvia, Julian and Esther...
.

Never Stop Barking

My New Philosophy on Life....

NEVER STOP BARKING.

Because if you do,

They may see you , 

As just another Old Goat

with nothing to say....